Thursday, September 10, 2009

Creating Happiness.. getting results

It's no secret that one of the biggest keys to success is "happiness". I've gone through some major crap in life (haven't we all?) but I find that the days that I concentrate on the good parts, the happy parts, the parts I want to remember forever.... are the reasons for my success in not only my life thus far but especially in my weight loss.

Anyone who knows me knows I've not been the most successful in the "love" area. LOL That's an understatement eh? I've had everything from "oops I forgot to tell you I was married" to "you're my everything so now I'll stalk you" and every other whack job in between. I'm certain it's not all their fault, I've allowed a lot of it happen and take responsibility as a grown adult for not demanding more for myself sometimes. I put my "love life" on the back burner for the past 10 years or so to be there for my kids. I've dated, enjoyed some good and some bad relationships but never allowed any to become an important part of my life. But as much as I wanted to say "I don't need a mate" I knew, if I was being honest, that I had something missing. I battled cancer alone (not really, I had family but you know what I mean by "alone" in this sense), I battled MS alone, I battled financial digression and so much more... all alone. I stood strong for my kids and would never change that but I also think it was a huge factor in my weight gains.

I had medical issues that helped add to the weight, but truth be told I didn't really care if I became fat & unhealthy. The day that attitude changed I felt like I had lifted a million pound weight off me. I never looked back, but as I look ahead I see such a beautiful future and now I have someone to share it with. The happiness this man has given me, in the short time we've known each other & been together, has truly inspired me even more to become even healthier. I don't want to battle cancer again with him at my side, I don't want to battle MS symptoms... I want a healthy body that I can share and embrace with him as we move into our future.

Other times in my life when love walked in, in it's limited fashion that I would allow, I would almost always gain weight. One guy I swear to God I gained 10 pounds within weeks because we would just eat. I should have seen that as a sign eh? LOL But this time it's been so different. We do go out to eat. Sometimes I make slightly "less than great" choices, but for the most part I not only control my portions extremely well but I pick what I would if I were dining alone or with just the kids... staying on program and continuing to lose the weight.

The funny part is, the first week of "weigh in" after meeting him I had "maintained"... to his defense, he came in on a "TOM" week and I never lose then.. lol... but I was happy as I also had been so busy between scheduling and such that staying the same was not big deal. Week two I had a minimal gain, again not his fault.. I swear.. lol.. with something like 0.2 lbs gained. I had hurt myself at the gym being an idiot (I always think I'm so in shape! LOL) so I ended up having to give up nearly an entire week of "workouts", causing the slight gain. This most recent weigh in I about died. I really hadn't thought much about whether I stayed on program or not. Oddly enough, it had just become a way of life for me now and the decisions I make are natural. If we dine out I make good choices, control my portions and to be honest.... 90% of the time could care less if I even eat as I'm so wrapped up in conversation with this man that it's unreal. I love to hear him talk and laugh and simply just be with him. Food happens to end up on the table but I rarely care or notice. I think that's an amazing thing for me... it used to be the food always got my attention... conversation and laughter came with it.

So I decided that since I haven't blogged in a while, yeah I know.. he's taking up so much of my time *grin*... I had to blog about being happy and how to handle it! Sounds easy enough, you're happy, you enjoy it! Right? But those of us with food addictions or whatever you'd like to call our bad eating habits & lack of control when food is around know that it's not always that easy. So many times we celebrate with food, we eat out of both depression and elation. But suddenly, when you realize this, it becomes something you can control. I've made it a habit of holding his hand while we're eating. Hopefully it doesn't bug him, he hasn't complained yet, but it helps me slow down and not shovel the food in. It also makes me stop eating for a bit and just look at him to smile. Yeah, you can barf now. LOL

But your happiness doesn't have to come from someone else. It's time to take that step back in your life and decide if you're being honest with yourself. Are you really happy or are you putting on a front for others? If it's the latter, which for me it was, it's time to change. That underlying unhappiness is something that you can change and once you do you will find that you no longer have this emptiness you try to fill with food. Finding your happiness can be as easy as finding time for friends, family or old acquaintances to finding/making time for YOU at the gym or even taking walks. It's not hard to figure out what makes you happy... it's harder to figure out how to get that happiness to stay with you. But the reality is, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

So grab onto that happiness bug, and let it take you past the food buffet and into a world of "eating to live" not "living to eat". It's amazing when you realize that happiness is no longer attached to food, but to something or someone that brings that happiness into your life. Happiness is what you make of your life. You can sit back and let it happen or you can create it. You have the reigns of control, it's time to use them!

What makes me happy? Pretty simple things really:
  1. My kids (Richard, Noelle & Nicole)
  2. My sweetheart (Rich Z.) and all the things he does... from simply holding me to kissing me to just being with me when I need those big, burly arms!
  3. My puppies (yeah, kids & kritters have my heart all too often)
  4. My "me time" at the gym
  5. Reading a book
  6. Watching a sunset (happens to be best when done with #2 on the list *grin*)
  7. Watching a sunrise (again, seems like that would be best with #2 on the list too eh?)
  8. Swimming in a pool, feeling my body just relax in the water
My list could go on... but I take this list with me in my mind, every where I go. I always know that if I need to smile, I think of one of those things on that list or better yet, enjoy one of those things. That happiness results in my not running to the fridge or drive-thru to drown my sorrows. How do I know it works? Today was a perfect example.... without going into detail I got some more "bad news" from the ex about his issues with the kids. He's such a loser & it seems like no matter what that man can make me upset. He did. But oddly, this time after I spent time at the lawyers office and sat back for a few minutes I pictured this moment:

I sat on a bench with Rich, just being held, talking and enjoying each others company. It was a short moment in the span of life itself but one of those ones that I will treasure forever. Even if the "romance" dwindles and we parted ways, I'd keep this in my vault of "most wonderful moment memories". It made me not only smile but realize a greasy burger or fatty milkshake wasn't nearly as wonderful as that thought, that picture.

So take the time to make your list. Use that list when you need it because there are going to be times in your life when you will decide you need to fall back on something... and this time.. don't let it be FOOD! I know it's made a huge difference in my life to fall back on "happiness" now... and with 5.2 lbs. lost this past week.. and I'm certain more this week... I know it's all for the best.

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Check out my Daily Menu Food Log for a quick glance at what I'm eating to get where I'm at, which is a healthier & therefore thinner ME!

Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!


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Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....

1. Weight Loss With The Fabulous Fatties
Check out the Fab Fatties

2. Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness
Joe Gigantino

3. HK Weighs In


5.Get Fit After 40

5.Green Lite Bites

6.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser
Sean Anderson

*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc.


  1. Wow!!! You are such a strong woman- and so inspirational. You have fought so many hard battles. You deserve someone wonderful to share your life with... and that awesome 5 pound loss!!!

    GO GIRL!!!

  2. Another way to boost happiness is w/the positive psych iPhone app Live Happy:

    It's based on research by Dr. Sonja Lyubormirsky, author of "The How of Happiness."