Thursday, May 26, 2011

Making A Difference In Someone's Life

I truly am in love with someone I would call my soul mate. We've been together a short time in comparison to our lives, going on 2 years, but we seem to be like 2 souls that were always together somehow.  We are that couple that you just want to stick that finger down your throat and go "gag" and I fully give permission to do so but the truth is, it is just for real.  We finish each others sentences, we think the same thoughts, we simply and truly complete each other.  I have no doubt in my mind that God created us to be together.

I wanted to make my first "different" blog post about us and about our life.  My life is so unlike it ever used to be.  To be honest, it was very hard to grasp at one point.  Within one year of my life I had lost my children to flying the nest and felt so worthless.  I had fallen in love beyond words with a man that I truly didn't know but knew I had to be with.  I went against everything I ever followed in my own rules and opened my heart to a man fully and brought him completely into my life.  Add to all of that the fact that I moved into his house and started living a completely, almost complete opposite lifestyle.  He was up at 4am, went to work early, worked a 10 hour day and came home for a few hours of rest and relaxation, then went to bed by 8 to 9pm.  I was used to living with 3 teenagers, constantly running them to work and wherever, stayed up until 4am and would sleep whenever I could.  I've been disabled from my cancer so work was never an issue.  I'd started to work out at one  point and loved it. I could only handle "working out" so to speak in the water where I had no pressure on my spine which has deteriorated from the cancer.  Suddenly I was thrown into this early to bed early to rise situation.  Let me tell you, this much change in under one year is not easy on a person.

This is the first I've said it out loud to anyone except my own doctor or my fiance' but I had so much change that I felt like I had lost Bev.  I was nowhere to be found.  The woman who spent days running kids around, doing online stuff while sitting in special chairs, doing what she wanted, having a house full of teens (which I always loved that I was the mom they all wanted to be with) and taking hours at the book store to just read (my favorite past-time and something I do "professionally" so to speak for writing book reviews in which I receive the book for compensation.  I went on my own time, to wherever I wanted, and I was pretty free spirited.  Suddenly I was without a car to go where I wanted, living in a home that didn't feel like mine, woke each day without the 3 people who were most important in my life and dealing with truly learning and understanding this man that I broke every one of my rules falling in love with.  I became suicidal at one point, thinking I'm worthless and simply don't exist.  It was just too much to handle.  Luckily I knew that I needed help and luckily my doctor is one who listens and works with me.  He's seen first hand how I hand life and its strains.  You don't whip cancer over and over again while raising 3 children by yourself without being strong and he knew that if I was having these thoughts, I was truly at my wits end. 

There...I said it!

I have never been one to show any weaknesses, oddly this has changed too. I have changed since meeting my love.  I have changed so very much.  But as I realized this I also realized that the man I was with I was also changing him and everything he knew about life.  Suddenly I realized that no matter how hard it got at times, we were growing and growing together. It was wonderful.  My best part is yet to come...

As I have mentioned, my beginning of taking care of myself I really delved in. I studied and I had a wonderful mentor, Yvette, who guided me in ways I've never known.  I utilized aspects of the Weight Watchers® System because it's always worked for me, but I haven't always stayed with the program.  I knew the basics behind their system were something I could rely upon but after joining and losing 0.4 lbs and being expected to get excited I knew this was never going to be the way I would do it. I had to design my own way that worked for me and, again, my mentor guided me with herbal remedies and aids.  I found people I call my Fitter Twitters who often shared recipes, gave me strength and tweeted about their successful ways.  I literally created my own world of getting healthy and in doing so the result was losing weight.

The love of my life was far from fit when we met.  I have a thing for big, burly men to begin with and while everyone loves eye candy to look at for a while, what I was looking for I found in his heart.  He accepted me being imperfect as I was (believe me I had issues.. LOL) and I did the same with him; but as we grew closer and closer I started to realize that his weight was killing him.  I never used those words because I had heard them myself.  I've had people who love me try in every way shape and form to tell me I was fat (like I had no clue) and it was going to kill me.  I knew what it was like to be badgered and I wasn't going to do that to him.  But without him truly knowing, he was already beginning to eat healthy.  He'd come over for dinner every night and love what I cooked. Even the simplest things like grilled chicken breasts with herbs on an Arnold's bun with baked Alexia Sweet Potato Fries, he'd rave about how amazing I cooked and how wonderful it was.  And the funny part was, at one point he commented "it's funny, you must be doing something good for me because I've lost weight, even eating the great dinners you make for me every night!"  He now realizes that those dinners are typical of the way I eat and he does too and they have since created a whole new man.  He changed doctors, going to my doctor and my doctor is thorough.  He's wonderful because he knows that you know you're fat. It doesn't take an Einstein to figure that out does it?  But he doesn't badger. He pokes fun of the fact that he too is round and round is a shape so he's "in shape" but he also tells you about things like "If  you just lost 10 lbs do you realize..."  and inspires you to feel like you CAN do it.  He also takes blood work for everything, including glucose levels (not just fasting levels) and when doing this gave Rich the news that he technically would be considered diabetic and his cholesterol levels were slightly off, enough he threatened medication.  Instead WE chose a path to eat healthier, much of what we were doing already only no more second helpings because he loved my cooking so much.  We also joined the local YMCA and we go at least 3, sometimes 4 and 5 times in a week.  He even looked at me at one point and said "I cannot believe you got ME to get up and do this and I LOVE it!"

So my point is this.... I didn't badger him.  I commented that I wanted to get back to "the gym" (which for me means the pool to work out) and that I was joining the Y just down the road.  I commented that he should come along and see if he didn't like it. He debated at first and my answer to that was, "Well I'm going for the open house, see what they have. You may as well tag along and if you don't want to join you don't have to.. nothing lost right?"  Later he told me that because of the way I said it to him, the fact I didn't belittle him into being a bad person for NOT wanting to go and that I truly let him make the decision was the biggest reason he joined.  He remembered going to the same Y as a kid, playing hoops and even swimming once in a while.  We joined that day and haven't regretted it since.  So if you get the chance to inspire someone to do something that will help them... do it!  Do it in a way that they realize first of all you care and second of all you are giving them the option to make the choice.  Badgering someone who's fat by literally belittling them only makes most of us angrier and go out to eat a bigger bowl of ice cream.  But sharing with us how wonderful something is in your life, slowly sharing these things with them and giving them a chance to make the choice when they are ready is truly the only way it will work.

 By the way,  his favorite "snack" to eat now is a yogurt at night.  He's munching on an apple as I type this and we just got home from the Y, spending nearly 3 hours total combining him playing some basketball, working up a sweat then joining me in the pool to walk and relax in the Roman Bath to end the day.  As we walked out, hand in hand, he looked at me and said, "You know I'm really glad we did this tonight. It was such a shitty day but this just took all the stress away.  I love that I have this with you."  And THAT my friends is the entire reason why I'm glad I made a difference in someone's life and I want you to help someone you love be inspired to take care of themselves.  It's not about the numbers.  It's not about the pounds.  It's about feeling better, about having a better life and about taking care of yourself.  The pounds, the glucose levels, the cholesterol levels... they all fall in line when  you're treating yourself right.  I promise not to be so wordy next time. I just wanted to give you a feel for the new style I'm taking on. I will share pics of food, progress, recipes, etc. but I also will be sharing many other aspects that have helped me get where I am and inspire me to keep going.

Wish me luck on my journey to "eating clean" and  healthy! 
Take care of the one body God gave you, please... before it's too late.
Inspire someone you love to do the same.
And please feel free to comment and share ideas for trying to live and eat "clean" and losing weight by changing to a healthy lifestyle!


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Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....


 Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness - Sign up for his FREE newsletter! His tips were very inspirational in helping me take many of his routines to the water so I have less pain while being able to move!

 HK Weighs In

 BWJEN - Another WW Buddy and a 'bookworm' too!?

.Get Fit After 40

Green Lite Bites

Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser - Sean is an inspiration to anyone trying to get healthy!
Sean Anderson

*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc. and Points® is a registered trademark of the Weight Watchers® company.