Thanks Anger!

Somehow, I manage to find the most amazing men out there. I'm being very sarcastic, but I'm not lying. LOL I'm not asking for a pity party, I'm actually quite proud of myself for my newest accomplishment. So much so that I decided to blog about it here.. because it's a huge step for me and a huge accomplishment in my weight loss and healthy living journey.

Long story short, I decided I deserved better than what I was allowing to happen with me in a relationship... so I decided... to move on....

So I did.

Unfortunately, I found another completely inconsiderate, selfish bastard. Amazing how many of them there are out there. I think I might start a book on the ratio of actual TRUE gentlemen versus completely ignorant, selfish, rude, assholes with penises. Sorry men, the bashing is needed sometimes... I hear not all are this way... PLEASE let me find that's true?! LOL

Pardon my "French" for this blog... I'm dealing with anger... but OOOOH has the ANGER become my friend.

Tonight I was upset & it involved the opposite sex (go figure) and it not only made me do something I don't do often ( question MYSELF as to if I was "worthy" or had something wrong with me) but it made me do something totally different than I normally do when stressed.

I'll be honest, it was easy as hell to do tonight.... I struggled with a few moments of "what should I do.. this or that" and ended up deciding that instead of allowing for a pity party, accompanied by food (my former friend & supporter of any anxiety) and booze to just drown my sorrows & possibly dance (which would have ended up really hurting the back), I would instead go to the gym. Yes, you read that right... those who knew the "unhealthy" Bev are now gasping.. but I swear to you it's true!

I not only decided the gym would be a better idea than a bar, food & booze but a punching bag would be an even better idea. I'm not gonna lie. I hurt, hurt enough that I had to double my morphine tonight just from the pain & add a muscle relaxant, but I don't really care. I punched the shit out of that bag like there was no tomorrow. Unfortunately my "tomorrow" I will probably pay for it with my Chronic Pain being beyond "chronic" LOL, but I dont' care. I probably looked like a complete moron.. or a psychotic, scorned woman? Probably the last now that I think of it. LOL BUT the end result was not only 30 minutes (off and on) of punching the hell out of a bag and getting out all of my aggressions but losing some calories, toning some muscles & feeling a little better.

The punching wasn't enough for me though. I needed more. I needed to just run.. get away from everything, everyone, every thought. Again, my "OLD" self would have ventured to the freezer for a pint of Ben & Jerry's, scoffing it down like I hadn't eaten for a month to "feel better. Now I was craving movement, adrenaline, revenge.

I jumped into the pool, already worked out once today putting in my mile running/jogging in the pool & upper body water workout, but was determined to put at least a mile behind me again. By the way, chlorine hurts skinned, bloodied knuckles when you hop it... but it's a good hurt. See the pic of my hand on the right. *grin*

So I decided today that this was a HUGE, HUGE, HUMONGOUS step for me.

For the first time in my life I did NOT turn to food for comfort. I actually turned in the opposite direction and it felt so DAMN GOOD!

I'm sure it's just one of many disappointments I'll have in the opposite sex. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, eh? LOL I know, we all have them.... but really... men... piece of advice...try honesty & consideration when you want a woman to even consider your company. It's funny, because before my lifestyle change I would have allowed this person to walk all over me too.. and this time.. one chance, blew it.. walked.... and never looked back. I deserve better & I'd rather have nobody than somebody who can't appreciate what he has.

So to all you idiot men out there (and I hear there are some out there that are not.. unfortunately from my experience they're all married or gay LOL) .. but I want to thank you... from the bottom of my heart... with FULLEST GRATITUDE for making me become what I've always wanted!

I will beast it out every time one of you tears a little piece of me away... and as I build my own self-esteem back up from that "beasting"... I'll be getting healthier, toned and even more confident that it's NOT me that's wrong anymore.

If "he" can't figure out how to treat a woman, he doesn't deserve my attention... however, since the gym, pool & punching bag treats me well.... THEY will be seeing a lot more of me, or perhaps I should say a LOT LESS OF ME.. but MORE OFTEN?

I apologize for offensive language... but it's a blog that's intense and full of emotion. I'm so proud of how I handled things this time... from the standing my ground and DEMANDING better treatment to using better judgment on how to handle the stress. This is definitely a step in the right direction and a step towards a LIFETIME of healthy choices.

Check out my Daily Menu Food Log for a quick glance at what I'm eating to get where I'm at, which is a healthier & therefore thinner ME!


Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....

1.
Check out the Fab Fatties

2. Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness



3.

4. BWJEN



5.

5.

6.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser


*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc.

Lemonade Pie (3)

While the summer may be winding down, it's never too late to whip up a cool & refreshing lemon pie! I make this at Thanksgiving for my "lemon pie", keeps me from misbehaving too much! But in the summer, it's a wonderful delight and always a hit at picnics!

Lemonade Pie (3)

Original Recipe, not sure of where I got it but I've seen versions all over. I re-invented it to lower the points (as always), actually it could have been from an original recipe by Cool Whip® or Crystal Light® but either way... I changed it up! I actually believe I took a little of the recipe from either Cool Whip/Crystal Light and added the crust from Hungry Girl with my own additions & deletions.


Crust:

1 1/4c Fiber One® Original Cereal
6 sheets Low Fat graham crackers
4 Tbsp light butter (50 cal Tbsp)
1 oz water
4Tbsp Splenda®


In blender/food processor place Fiber One® cereal. Crush up. Pour into bowl, crush graham crackers into mix, then add remaining ingredients. Blend together with hands or spoon/spatula.

Push into sprayed pie tin.

Crust Nutritional info for 1/8th = 88.75/3.75/4.75

Filling:

1 lrg box sugar free fat free instant vanilla pudding
2 c skim milk
1 tub Crystal Light® lemonade *note if you use the pink lemonade you get a pink pie!
½ of 8 oz Cool Whip® Free (reserve other half for topping)

Mix together pudding mix and crystal light. Add milk and whisk until it begins to thicken. Fold in cool whip. Spread into prepared crust. Refrigerate until set. Top with remaining cool whip.
I freeze it and take it out as needed, keeping it firmer & heartier to slice!
.

Filling Nutritional Info: 1/8th = 88 cal/ 0g fat/ 0g fiber

One slice of Pie 1/8th = 176 cal/ 3.75g fat/ 4.75g fiber

* As with all recipes points®/calories/fats will vary according to ingredients so please be sure to figure your own nutritional information out according to the packages & information of the products you use.



Check out my Daily Menu Food Log for a quick glance at what I'm eating to get where I'm at, which is a healthier & therefore thinner ME!


Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....

1.
Check out the Fab Fatties

2. Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness



3.

4. BWJEN



5.

5.

6.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser


*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc.

A Pictorial Essay of my changes.....

As most "fat" people, pictures of me are hard to find. Why? Well the obvious... I'm huge in them. Of course my whole fat life I've used the excuse "I'm not photogenic" or "That outfit made me look so fat", or on and on.... but so many have asked me for pics... so here's some. Let me tell you I would have NEVER done this before!!!!!!! LOL

Now that I'm 58+ lbs lighter.... I'm far from the size I want to be, but I'm so proud of where I've come to, that I post these pics with pleasure! Ok, a little cringing too!

The picture on the right is me in 2006. By this point I had been battling cancer 3x I believe, blown up on every drug imaginable & really didn't care at all if my body liked what I did. I ate to get rid of pain, I ate to get rid of issues, I ate to just eat. The great part is, those clothes are like tents on me now! And yes, I still have them because sometimes, at this point I have to have SOMETHING to wear & I'm not buying more fat clothes until I MUST. I'll spend all MY money on "skinny" clothes so to speak! LOL

Next is me, close to my heaviest weight ... this was actually about 2 months into starting to lose, but i don't know the weight. I was about 8-10 lbs lighter in this picture than my heaviest weight. Tipping those scales at 300+ I was on the path to self destruction. Not to mention, I had more chins than a Chinese phone book eh?! And don't I look sooooooo happy to have my picture taken? Welcome to the life of a fat girl! I run from the camera! LOL Oh well!

This was April 2009. I can't even imagine going back to that!

A mere 4 months later and I can see the difference. I've got

a long road to haul but I look and feel so much better now that I'm in charge of ME! At least you can see the lack of chins.. lol. I jest, but a lot of that laughter was covering the pain of being so big. I hated it, but wouldn't admit it. When I realized that I needed to FEEL GOOD about myself, not feel good about a size or an expectation of everyone else was when I knew I had this thing under MY control!




Check out my Daily Menu Food Log for a quick glance at what I'm eating to get where I'm at, which is a healthier & therefore thinner ME!


Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....

1.
Check out the Fab Fatties Challenge #3 while you are there!

2. Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness



3.

4. BWJEN



5.

5.

6.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser


*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc.

Stuffed French Toast (3)

Stuffed French Toast (3)

Original Recipe From the kitchen of CATHYTWEEDT (4)
Re-adapted/Re-created by Bev P. aka hockeygal4ever (3)

Serves 1

Ingredients:

2 Slices Diet/Light Wheat Bread
1/4 cup Egg Substitute
1 T Carnation Fat Free Cinnamon Vanilla Coffemate Creamer
1/2 tsp Orange Zest
ground cinnamon
1/4 Cup Fat Free Sargento's Ricotta Cheese
1/2 cup Frozen Blueberries
2 Packets Splenda with fiber

Instructions:

Preheat pan or griddle on Medium Heat

1. Mix together egg beaters, creamer and orange zest
2. Dip both sides of bread in egg mixture
3. Place in Pan or on Griddle
4.Sprinkle with ground cinnamon if desired
5. Cook until both sides are golden brown

Meanwhile:

1. Place blueberries in microwave safe dish and sprinkle with Splenda
2. Heat for 15-30 seconds or until warm
3. Drain excess juice and reserve
4.In blender/food processor - Mix together ricotta cheese and blueberries into a creamy mixture.

*Note - you can also use strawberries or other fruits as desired. Remember to adjust points®/nutritional values according to amounts of fresh/frozen fruits you use.

To serve:
1.Place one piece of toast on plate
2.Top with ricotta cheese and berry mixture
3. Top with second piece of toast
4.Drizzle with reserved blueberry juice if desired

* As with all recipes points®/calories/fats will vary according to ingredients so please be sure to figure your own nutritional information out according to the packages & information of the products you use.



Check out my Daily Menu Food Log for a quick glance at what I'm eating to get where I'm at, which is a healthier & therefore thinner ME!


Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....

1.
Check out the Fab Fatties Challenge #3 while you are there!

2. Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness



3.

4. BWJEN



5.

5.

6.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser


*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc.

Sweet 'n Sour Asian Chicken Salad

Today's creation came from the desire to have a much loved "junk food" that's common to the Erie area - Grilled Chicken or Steak Salad. Now you have to understand, the term "junk food" applies because generally, around here, they create this amazing, delicious one bowl dinner using less than "healthy" ingredients! I've, of course, RE-created the typical fry laden, cheese smothered dish to taste just as good but with a lot less fat & calories!

Alexia® Fries are my savior when it comes to having a wonderfully healthy alternative! They ARE french fries... just not "fried" & definitely not full of fat & calories! Each serving of Alexia Fries almost always comes out to about 3 points® per serving, be sure to check their label to make sure! Serving sizes are very generous too! Today's recipe I used the Yukon Gold Julienne Sliced Fries.

Asian Grilled Chicken Salad (8)

Ingredients:

• 1 Tbls. Sweet 'n Sour Sauce (check label find lowest points available - I used Wegman's @ 1pt./Tbls) <1>
  
• 1 boneless, skinless frozen chicken breast <3>
  
• bagged salad mix <0>
  
• 24 French Fries (Recipe is created/counted using Alexia Yukon Gold's which are SO very low in points & awesomely delish) <3>
  
• 1/4 Cup Fat Free Shredded Cheddar <1>
  
• Fat Free Dressing of Choice (I used Wegman's Fat Free Roasted Red Pepper) <0>
  
• *Optional veggies you like in your salad
• Fresh Ground Black Pepper & Fresh Ground Sea Salt
  

Bake Alexia Yukon Gold Julienne Style Fries in oven (takes 20-25 minutes)

Grill chicken breast on grill ( I use the "Big George"), add 1 Tbls. sweet 'n sour sauce at end to flavor it.

Chop chicken breast into bite sized pieces.

Place chicken, fries, cheddar cheese on top of bed of lettuce (I use the prepackaged salad mixes for speed & ease)

Top with dressing of your choice. (Fat Free)

Add any additional veggies you like (suggestions: onion, tomatoes, cucumbers)

Top with freshly ground black pepper & sea salt.

* As with all recipes points®/calories/fats will vary according to ingredients so please be sure to figure your own nutritional information out according to the packages & information of the products you use.



Check out my Daily Menu Food Log for a quick glance at what I'm eating to get where I'm at, which is a healthier & therefore thinner ME!


Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few of the people online that inspire me....

1.
Check out the Fab Fatties Challenge #3 while you are there!

2. Joe Gigantino - Fitness Trainer
This is the guy that really set me on the path to physical fitness



3.

4. BWJEN



5.

5.

6.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser


*Note I am not affiliated nor endorsed by Weight Watchers® at all, in any way. I highly recommend their program and cannot say enough GOOD about it, but I also have decided that they were my "stepping stone" to making a change in my lifestyle. Any mention of Weight Watchers®, their program or their term of "points®" does not mean they have approved, seen, or endorsed anything on my blogs.

Also, if at any time Points® are mentioned it is always with the assumption that you will analyze the recipes, foods, ingredients and figure the points out specifically for your consumption of any product, as ingredients may vary by brand, size, etc.