Making it Happen

I made the decision to become "healthy" after realizing I can't be 45 years old and feel like I do. I've told my story and I'm not asking for sorrow or even applause but I'd like to take this day to blog about all the feelings that go along with what I'm doing. What OTHERS like me are doing. I'm so VERY NOT alone in this. For the first time in a long time I honestly feel like I'm NOT alone and while some may scoff, a lot of this feeling comes from my "Fitter Twitter" friends as I like to call them.

I've NEVER in my life said how much I weighed. I've always been 'heavy', but never like this. Almost 10 years ago I reached a point in my life I never, ever thought I'd reach.... the 300+ club. Believe me, it's not a club that hands out big memberships with lots of perks (unless you consider dying younger a perk). I had begun steroid treatment for Multiple Sclerosis, birthed twins (not an excuse but definitely made a difference) plus a singleton (twin talk for 1 baby at a time LOL) and started a 10 year battle with cancer.

Funny part was, I was always active. I played sports, ran daily (13 miles around Presque Isle, there and back home again). To be stuck in my "fat suit" wasn't easy.

This Blog is my breaking out. If you've followed me at all, you may have noticed my new "running tally" at the top. Yes, it gives NUMBERS. I'm not proud of those numbers, well, yes I am. I'm proud that they are changing and I am the one changing them. I started out going towards the 350 lb. mark! I was told several things, none of them having to do with the cancer survival & what I had to deal with there, but instead things like "Well you're definitely going to have diabetes, it's just a matter of time." "Heart issues run in your family, you're going to eventually going to have some issues." and my favorite "You don't have any other option, gastric bypass is the only way you're going to live to see even 50."

Take all of those comments from physicians, and probably even more, and add to that cancer every 2 years for 10 years running with a little MS added in.

Now tell me what YOU would do? You would want to live, I'm almost certain. You and I are not very different at all, even if you're reading this & are at your ideal weight, working out, buff and feeling great. Why do I know this? Because YOU chose to be the way you are now. So if you're already where I'm heading for, you were lucky enough or smart enough to know to get there. If you're here with me, struggling to become in control and healthy... perhaps for the first time in your life even, then let's lean on each other. Let's boost each other up. Let's make this something we will never forget!

So that's why I called my Blog "One Day At a Time" because that's how I have to do this. I know it's not a magical change. I'm going to have pit falls. (Dear Lord give me the strength to pass by the "Hot Light" on Krispy Kreme without pulling in!) But I also know that those pitfalls no longer mean that I should quit! If I DO pull into Krispy Kreme (which I have since I've decided to be healthier) perhaps I'll have the strength to buy a single donut, eat it moaning like ..well we won't discuss that part.... but enjoying it thoroughly but then being done with it all. Getting my fix, not ending my healthy lifestyle. And what if I do buy a dozen, eat them until I'm sick? Well, I won't lie, I'll be really pissed at myself. VERY pissed at myself to be honest, but I'll move on. That's what's changed about me this time. Even if I lose control, I'll still be IN control with the final decision and that final decision will be to continue eating healthy, felling better, working out and enjoying life to the fullest.

I know that I'm not going to go to a birthday party and NEVER touch a piece of cake & ice cream to top it off. But I know that I'll be able to eat 1/2 of that cake or maybe even sit the whole piece down while munching on something healthier ... or maybe not even EAT at all to socialize.

I know I'm not going to never go out to listen to some new bands, friends bands, old bands I've loved or whatever at the local bar but I know that now I handle it with and MGD 64 (1 pt) and a Sugar Free Red Bull to help me nurse the night. You'd be surprised how happy guys are to walk up now and offer to buy me a drink, only to find it's water in my glass. Guess I'm a cheap date now? LOL

I just wanted to take the time to say thanks to all those who support me. My kids, GOD how they have supported me. These kids tell me every time they look at me how wonderful I look, how much better I seem to feel & how beautiful I STILL am, but even more now. They laugh at my undies that fall off, my nighties that I'm now tripping over because my big belly doesn't hold them up anymore and I laugh with them.

Thanks to the people I've met online that have inspired me. Some of you are clueless how much of an inspiration you are and I know if I list you I'll forget someone but look below to see just a few.

Add to that clickable list below some of my "Fitter Twitter" friends like @JoeGigantino (a man who lives on the other side of the country but actually took the time out of his very busy day to talk to me on the phone about how to get a "core" workout in the pool, who directed me, guided me and continues to say something that almost makes me cry "I'm proud of u"... when just weeks ago we were strangers.)

@W8LossChick who took me under her wing, not to make money and sell me anything but to inspire me, guide me and give me tips on how to do this when I was beginning to get discouraged with 1.2 lb weight losses or less using the Weight Watcher plan (a fabulous plan that I will and do continue to use) but gave me some tips to tweak what I was doing, add natural supplements, extra little things that even before I started the gym made my losses go up nearly 2 lbs more a week. Who also is guiding my daughter with her new product which controls appetites to help you get to the point where your body begins to help YOU get into control. More of that at a later date, when she approves of me putting out an entire 411 on her! LOL

@BWJen, my "school teacher" that told me how much I inspired her when in reality she was inspiring me. I saw her doing this, read her posts, laughed with her.

@FabFatties and @Skinny_Scoopers and @GirlGetStrong2 and @teetee_71 and @PhatBFF to name just a few that keep me laughing through the toughest of times... while they share simple things like new products they found, or new recipes or simply how they got the UMPH to just DO IT today. @SeanAAnderson who continues to amaze me because his trip is so much longer than mine and I have days I feel like I'll never make it... his blog reminds me that I will and can.

If I didn't mention you, please don't be offended, there are so many of you out there in my "Fitter Twitter" group that I keep forgetting to list you all... but you can check my posts and see where and who my convos tend to be with.. you'll know who inspires me.

So with Weigh In tomorrow, not sure how big of a loss I'll see since I kinda cheated and weighed in the middle of this past week to see if I got to my UNDER 300 mark... and I did by the way but either way... I know that this has become a lifetime commitment for me. I'm NEVER going back to the way I was.

In the end I will die, we all do, but I will die knowing that I tried my best to live a long and healthy life. That I cared enough about ME to make a difference. That I loved those around me enough to WANT to stay here as long as possible.

And my last comment on the whole trip so far.... I hope that the people in my life now and in the future would be the same people in my life with or without my extra weight. While it's not pretty to be "fat", nor is it healthy, it doesn't make me who I am. I don't look upon anyone differently because of how they look on the outside, I hope and pray you do the same. Some day, we will have no faces, no beautiful or unbeautiful bodies to show off.. only our hearts & souls. So make sure your INSIDES are as healthy as your OUTSIDES!

Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few....

1.

2.

3. BWJEN


4. FabFatties


5.

6.

7.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser

Angel Food Bars (3)

This is one of the easiest "cakes" or desserts you can make. I love to take this to picnics because people instantly assume it's NOT a healthy treat because "how can cake be healthy?" and it's cut into 12 large pieces. Add the Cool Whip topping on top & they'll never guess it's not loaded with fat & calories!

You can click on the underlined "ingredients" to order them online (I don't get any profits from this, just trying to help you find the ingredients easier)

Angel Food Bars (3)

makes 12 bars in a 9x13 pan

1 box of angel food cake mix
1 20 oz. can No Sugar Added Comstock Pie Filling (I prefer apple but apple & cherry both have same nutritional info & therefore there is no point difference)

Mix the two above ingredients together and pour into a 9 x 13 pan.
Do not spray pan with any cooking/baking spray.
Bake according to angel food cake package directions.

Let cool and add fat free cool whip on top (cool whip does add points)

(use any flavor of pie mix you want but be sure to adjust points/nutritional info if you do)

*Notes:
Some things I've done to give this recipe a little "twist" - using the same basic recipe above...

Candied Apple Angel Bars
The last 5 minutes of baking, place crushed candy canes on top to bake in on the top. I prefer to find the cinnamon flavored ones (get them after the holidays, they're cheaper!). Generally 2 or 3 candy canes crushed fine, sprinkled on top add a touch of "holiday" glimmer & a little cinnamon flavoring to the apple taste. You can use sugar free candy canes if you can find them but the standard ones don't add enough calories, etc. to change the points.

Caramel Apple Angel Bars
After cake is completely baked, drizzle sugar free, fat free caramel ice cream topping on top, just a touch. Gives a "caramel apple" flavor & when used sparingly no extra points are added. Be sure it's the Sugar Free version though or the points do change!

Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few....

1.

2.

3. BWJEN


4. FabFatties


5.

6.

7.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser

Cajun Egg Sammy (3)

This is one of my fave, easiest sandwiches to make and YES you can eat it for meals OTHER than breakfast!

Here's what you need for ONE sandwich (3):

Cajun Egg Sammy (3)

1 light muffin (I use Wegman's lite Muffins - 1 pt)
3 egg whites
1 1/2 tsp. cajun seasoning (more or less depending on your preference & the brand)
1 slice 2% Pepper Jack Cheese (I use Wegman's brand)
1 squirt of Fat Free Creamer (I buy the FF coffee creamers because they last for 30 days, on the counter, no refrigeration needed! Even the French Vanilla is fine for this, it's not overly sweet)

• Place egg whites, creamer, Cajun seasoning in a small dish (microwaveable)
• Whip with a fork
• Microwave for approx. 1 1/2 minutes (more or less depending on your microwave) until eggs are no longer runny and when fluffed with fork look fully cooked.
• While eggs are nuking, toast your muffin.
• Remove toasted muffin immediately when it pops up, add 1/2 slice of cheese on each side of the muffin.
• Flip the eggs onto the muffin, press together. Cheese on both sides helps hold it together.

Ready to eat!

While this sounds super spicy it really isn't. The "Cajun" spice generally isn't as spicy as it sounds it would be. I tend to purchase the generic brand from Big Lots but I've used some of the better brands also & they all tend to be more flavorful than "hot".

Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few....

1.

2.

3. BWJEN


4. FabFatties


5.

6.

7.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser

Survival

While this does & doesn't have it's place in a "weight loss" blog, I have to share. It's a part of me. Yeah, btw, I'm very "EMO" lately. Thank God for PMS!?

For those who don't know me, while this doesn't sum me up, it tells a lot about me in one sentence. "I am a cancer survivor, five times, 4 different types". Cancer will never BE who I am, but it is and always will be part of what has helped MAKE me.

Knowing my surviving, you will understand my undying love for Lance Armstrong.

I recall the 4th time I was told I had cancer. It was actually the 3rd time for surgery but the 4th cancer as they found lympnodes hiding the nasty shit while they were in there for the thyroid cancer too. I'd been thru it 2x before. You tire of it, in case you don't know. I had 3 kids, an idiot sperm donor that got the title "Father" to them but never knew how to keep up to the title he should have been so proud of, and once again would have zero income. I was alone, had to be the strong one, had to make them all know it was going to be ok. "No big deal" became my outside face. I had already been diagnosed with MS years before the 2nd cancer bout. I call the MS my "in between" battle. Unfortunately it hasn't decided to just leave me alone even though I won't let it win. But I digress. My work was now "angry" at me that I had to leave yet again for cancer. The nerve of me. My boss actually called the day of my surgery, to my room, in Pittsburgh (2 hours from where I live) to ask me about something at work & ask me when I'd be back. (Boy I bet I gave him one hell of an answer because I was still out of it from the anesthesia!)

I remember the day I went to the hospital, after wearing my strong face for the family, hugging kids, parents, telling the it would all be ok, I'd be fine, it was no big deal... I broke down. I remember stopping, and truly wondering if I wanted to do this, thought long, thought hard... did I want to ask God for what I was about to ask? Would he know if I truly meant it in my heart or was just feeling sorry for myself. My mind kept the words moving "God, just take me. I can't do it again. I just can't. Please make sure my kids are okay, know I loved them, but please God just take me. I can't do it.... I can't do it."

The next part people will probably think I'm crazy, lying, insane or a mixture of the three.. but it's the truth.

Lance Armstrong had created the Livestrong Foundation, what seemed like just recently then. It could have been longer, but I recall the craze of everyone wearing the "yellow" bracelets as a "trend" because all the celebs did it, it was so cool. My family wore them because after looking high and low & finally finding enough for each of us, we had a reason. We KNEW why he made them. It wasn't a fashion trend. If he wanted a fashion trend he could have designed the newest look in cycling clothing, t-shirts or work out gear. Lance created those bracelets to bring cancer to the front lines, so WE could shoot it down. Every person who ever experienced cancer in any way, shape or form knew this. It wasn't a fashion statement, it was a statement of Lance Armstrong's strength, faith & desire to beat the odds.

I laid there that moment and oddly enough his image popped into my head. I recalled the moment he stood, after winning "The Tour de France" yet again, only this time after being told he'd be dead instead. AFTER cancer.

I realized, THIS was the person I was supposed to be. If he could do it, what the hell right did I have to sit here and feel sorry for myself & ask God to give me the easy way out? NONE!

I remember just before I "went out" I spoke to God. I hoped he heard me because I screamed it in my head "GOD! GOD?! I want you to know, I DESERVE to make it, to beat it and my kids DESERVE to have me. Don't you take me GOD, I'm not finished here yet." Then I remember meekly saying in my mind "Ok?". As I went to sleep to be operated on once again I remember them wiping a tear from my cheek & telling me it was all ok. I smiled and said "I know".


I've NEVER written about my cancer. Oh sure, in blurbs, clips, quick responses. But I've NEVER poured it all out there. Even my kids have no clue what the last bouts were all about in my heart. I watched this video of Lance Armstrong today (embedded above), and it was all kewl until the pics of the cancer images & his x-rays came up. At that point I lost it, I cried like a baby. Yeah, "EMO", but also because I realized WHY he is so very much my hero. Say what you want about him. A lot of people love to hate him. Of course they do, he's not only a survivor but a leader. A lot of people can't stand to see that. It makes those who are weak realize how weak they are. A lot of people say he's "arrogant" or "mean". Hell yeah he is. You ever fight cancer? You don't do it by being nice to it. You beat the shit out of it & toss it to the curb for a proper stomping.

While I may never be as strong as Lance Armstrong, I hope that some day... when the Good Lord does take us all & we all meet in heaven.... I get my chance to stand next to him. To smile at him and tell him what an inspiration he was to me. How much of a difference he's made in my life and in the lives of so many others.

And for those of you out there still hating him..... please don't stop. It's what keeps people like him going. He needs to prove you wrong, just like he needed to prove cancer wrong, just like he continues to prove cancer wrong. Oddly enough the things that try to hurt him the most are the things that make him stronger every day and a true CONQUEROR.

So that's my story. Only been told in 140 characters or less on twitter for the most part before. Never shared with the world, for sure. But now out there for everyone to see. I've never been ashamed to tell it, but always been scared. Because you see, every time I say I'm cancer free that bastard comes back. Every time I say I've beat it once again, it takes me for another battle. And all I can say is, if it does... if it rears its ugly head again... I will have this video to watch... to inspire me... to make me know I can do it.

Thanks Lance for making cancer seem like the weakest link sometimes. And for when it does beat us, it only inspires people like you to step up the battle. You and your entire foundation deserve to not only be recognized but applauded, thanked and dammit if I ever meet ya... kissed one big huge wet one! (I hope there aren't THAT many employees at the foundation... my lips can't take THAT many big wet ones! LOL)

Smashed Steak Potatoes

Long ago, one of the "crazes" to hit the malls was a store/restaurant that sold "Smashed Potatoes". They were basically baked potatoes, loaded up with TONS of different things (most of them loaded with fat & calories).

My all time fave was the Smashed Steak Potato, a baked potato loaded to the hilt with caramelized onions, sour cream, cheddar cheese & steak. You could add anything else you wanted or could think of if you wanted, to any of the already "created" flavors. The place was awesome and fairly inexpensive considering what you got. The considered the potato "Smashed" because they took a baked potato & smashed it on a grill (of course with tons of butter/oil) then flipped that onto a plate & loaded it up with everything imaginable in thousands of different creative ways!

Of course, I loved it and shortly after it closed!

BUT fear not, I instantly figured out (not that it was hard) how to re-create these awesome babies at home and my kids thought I was the reigning queen of the kitchen! We had smashed steak potatoes nearly once a week, for months (at a fraction of the cost it was to take 3 kids and myself there).

As time went on the newness and intrigue of the recipe wore off and it became a sort of lost creation. Once in a while I'd pull it out and make "Smashed Potatoes" for the kids and we always loved it, but I no longer wore out it's welcome with a weekly dinner consisting of "Smashed Steak Potatoes" as our entree.

What I love most about re-creating my "old" recipe is that it tastes basically the same, with not even a fraction of the calories and is literally a quick and single platter entree that fills you up well!

Smashed Steak Potatoes (6)
Serves 1

Ingredients:

1 baked potato (I purchase the already washed/wrapped, ready to micro in 8 minute potatoes for $1.50 each... saves time & well worth the cost)
2 Tbsp. Fat Free Sour Cream
1/4 Cup Fat Free Shredded Cheddar Cheese
2 oz. 98% Fat Free Shaved Steak (I buy mine from a restaurant supplier but you can buy 98%-99% FF Shaved Beef in your deli)
2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp. A-1
1 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. garlic salt 1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1/4 sweet onion, sliced (I prefer Vidalia while I can get them)

1. Place baked potato in microwave or oven if you prefer and cook completely.
   
   
2. While potato is cooking, begin to caramelize onions in non-stick fry pan. You do not need to put any oil in the pan as long as you use a non-stick pan & constantly keep moving the onions so they don't burn, over a medium heat. Once onions are cooked thoroughly, place beef, Worcestershire sauce, onion powder, garlic salt & ground pepper in fry pan. Cook until heated through.
   
   
3. By the time the potato is done cooking, the beef & onions will be hot & ready to place on top of potato.
   
   
4. Move the fry pan ingredients to one side and cut open the potato, squish potato down into fry pan, skin side up. This allows the potato to soak up all the delicious flavors of the cooking meat & onions.
   
   
5. Take potato out, place on platter. Top with all ingredients in fry pan. Top with shredded cheddar, A-1 Sauce & sour cream. Salt & pepper to taste.

I use this as a main course. It is amazingly delicious and so very filling. You can add or take out ingredients as you please. Sometimes I'll add red & green sweet peppers to make a "philly steak" style smashed potato. Sometimes I replace the steak with chicken & top with some salsa. Anything you can think of as a topping can be put in, just remember to change the points value for each item.

And of course, since the total "meal" points are so low you can add a little dessert (bowl of FF Frozen yogurt or something special) and not even begin to feel guilty with the entire dinner!

Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?
These are just a few....

1.

2.

3. BWJEN


4. FabFatties


5.

6.

7.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser

Asiago, Potato and Bacon Gratin

I must confess, I am a cheese addict! It's been the hardest part of getting healthier & I often do falter to the whims & desires of REAL, full of fat, cheese.
What I love about this recipe is that Asiago cheese is pungent enough to use just a small amount but give tons of flavor. Not to mention Asiago is one of my absolute favorite cheeses!

Asiago, Potato, and Bacon Gratin (5)
Serves 6

1 1/2 pounds peeled Yukon gold potatoes, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices
1 teaspoon salt, divided
Cooking spray
2 tablespoons minced shallots
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups Skim milk, divided (1 1/2 cups & 1/2 cup)
3/4 cup (3 ounces) grated Asiago cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh chives
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
4 bacon slices, cooked and crumbled (I use center cut bacon)
1/4 cup (1 ounce) grated fresh Parmesan cheese (I use canned, reduced fat Parm)

Preheat oven to 350°.
Place potatoes in a large saucepan; cover with water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 5 minutes or until potatoes are almost tender. Drain. Sprinkle potatoes evenly with 1/4 teaspoon salt; set aside and keep warm.

Heat a medium saucepan coated with cooking spray over medium heat. Add shallots; cook 2 minutes or until tender, stirring frequently. Lightly spoon flour into a dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Sprinkle flour over shallots. Gradually add 1/2 cup milk, stirring with a whisk until well blended. Gradually add remaining 1 1/2 cups milk, stirring with a whisk. Cook over medium heat 9 minutes or until thick, stirring frequently. Remove from heat; stir in 3/4 teaspoon salt, Asiago, chives, pepper, and bacon.

Arrange half of potato slices in an 8-inch square baking dish coated with cooking spray. Pour half of cheese sauce over potato slices. Top with remaining potato slices and cheese sauce; sprinkle with Parmesan. Bake at 350° for 35 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and lightly browned.


CALORIES 250 FAT 8.2g FIBER 2.3g


Don't forget to check out my newest Book Blog, where I give book reviews on recent books I've read. If you're a reader you'll want to check this out!

WE CAN DO THIS, TOGETHER
ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Like this article? Twit it to your followers!

Who Else Helps me get healthy?

1.

2.

3. BWJEN


4. FabFatties


5.

6.

7.Sean Anderson the formerly 500lb man!
Diary of A Winning Loser